3 Things to Know

I was talking about my book with a friend the other week at a birthday party we were both attending. He asked me what makes Become ALIVE different from any of the other resources out there? I admit, I was a little caught off guard and struggled to answer the question on the spot. It seems my confidence in the product up to that moment had kept me from fully articulating what sets it apart.

Although my friend was worried he had offended me, I was actually grateful for the invitation to talk through what I believe about why I started this project and why I think it’s important. Here’s what I came up with for why my book, Become ALIVE is worth a read.

1. Become ALIVE is timely. As I’ve written before, I started this project at the height of the pandemic as an effort to address some of the more prevalent issues I was seeing in young people in my office. Although the pandemic has ended, its impact on mental health has not. Young people are still struggling with feeling isolated and hopeless about their futures, spending excessive time on social media, gaming, online shopping, etc. Not only have we not moved past these issues but we are clearly not prepared for the next world crisis. I’d like to do something about that!

2. Become ALIVE is relevant. I listen when people tell me about what they are dealing with in their daily lives. My book touches on as many of these issues as I could fit within its pages. Young people are struggling day to day to find and sustain motivation, to see themselves and their lives as worthwhile, and to improve their distress tolerance and resilience.

3. Become ALIVE is personal. This book represents my authentic therapeutic voice and how I communicate with clients in the therapy room. I hope readers will feel connected on a personal level and see us as working on these issues together. I reinforce this by sharing how I apply the strategies illustrated to my own life and circumstances.

I hope this gives potential readers a better idea of what sets this work apart. I’m looking forward to sharing it with you all soon. For now, here is an excerpt from the Identity section of the fifth chapter which utilizes mindfulness practice to access our inner wisdom. The strategies in this section reinforce the importance of centeredness as a means to navigate stressful encounters.

We wrote in our summary that each of us has an inner sage that speaks words of wisdom to us from past lessons we have learned. You may not have recognized him, but you’ve met my inner sage in each of the quotes preceding each lesson so far. In classical philosophy and literature, a sage is a person who has attained wisdom and exhibits sound judgment. To seek the wisdom of the sage, one may have to embark on a lengthy quest. Thankfully, your inner sage is much closer than the sages from classical literature who you may find perched atop a mountain across the sea of torment. Nonetheless, you will need to embark on a quest of sorts to reach your inner sage, who resides at the calm center of your brain and body.

Your inner sage is available to you in times of need, to remind you of past lessons learned and advise you what skills may be necessary in facing current challenges. You can access your inner sage by using your calming skills and finding your center. You will know you have found your center when you notice your brain and body have achieved a state of calm, you are not experiencing any pressure from them to fight, run, or freeze, and you can be aware of the threatening nature of the challenge without having to do anything about it.

Although there are a multitude of methods for achieving a state of calm (prayer, meditation, deep breathing, yoga, exercise), most of them have a few things in common. The first commonality is an awareness of the need to center. Many of us have thoughts, emotions, and sensations within our brains and bodies that signal us to the need to center ourselves. In the Awareness section you listed a time when you struggled to adapt to a challenge you were facing and how it left you feeling. This experience may hold clues about the experiences and encounters you find most threatening and how your brain and body respond to them. Take a moment to go back over your description of how you felt and identify the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that will inform you of the need to center yourself in the future and list them here.

The second commonality is a focus on the breath, mindset, and environment. Slowing and steadying our breathing is essential to any effort to calm ourselves, as it is the quickest way to shift our brains from survival mode to being fully attuned to the present moment. When our brains and bodies are stuck in survival mode, we are not conscious actors in our own lives. Shifting our mindset to the present moment will open us up to receiving the wisdom our inner sage wants to impart. Additionally, our environment can play a part in why our brains and bodies are stuck in survival mode. Many of us are sensitive to tense and pressure-filled environments and struggle to find calm amidst the chaos. If this is true for you, it may be necessary to find a peaceful spot where you can focus on your breathing and shift your mindset. Your peaceful spot can be a physical location, or it can be a place you can take yourself in your mind, either from your memory or your imagination.

Take a moment now to consider the part your environment plays in your ability to calm and center yourself. If there is a physical location close to you that feels peaceful to you and you can get to safely on your own, list it here. If there is a peaceful location from your memory or imagination you can take yourself to in your mind, draw a picture of it for easy reference.

The third and final commonality we will cover in this lesson is an openness to other perspectives and to seeing what the present moment is asking of us. It is at this point in our quest we can commune with our inner sage and ask them to share the wisdom they have for us. Perhaps we need to let go of an aspect of a challenge we have been trying to control, or we are in need of greater courage to face something we’ve been avoiding. Perhaps we have been stuck in one of the self-worth pitfalls and need our inner sage to remind us we are putting too much pressure on ourselves to achieve or gain the approval of others. When we are centered, calm, and open to the wisdom that is inside of us, we become free to make decisions about who we want to be and how we want to approach the challenges we face.

Take a moment to think about your inner sage, what they look and sound like, and how they share their wisdom with you. Once you have a clear idea of what your inner sage looks and sounds like, draw a picture or film a video describing your sage, what wisdom they share with you, and how it feels to you to know that there is a source of wisdom inside you that you can access in times of need.